Make a positive difference for grieving people

couple walking

A friend recently recalled how his wife fought off Hodgkin disease, a form of cancer, while he was dating her 18 years ago.

Today they are happily married with two children and life is normal for them.

It’s a good feeling every time there’s a success story on fighting cancer. It shows there’s always hope.

We have all lost someone to this dreaded disease. Some of us have lost more than a few close friends and relatives.

It’s more painful and unbearable when they go at a young age. We are lost. Stranded.

How do we carry on? Some of us do, others don’t. No two people are the same. Even death and sorrow are managed differently.

It’s for all of us as good humans to be pillars of support during each other’s dark days.

There have been quite a few stories of friends or relatives who lost patience and got irritated by people who could not get over their grieving.

“Enough lah. We will all die one day” or “It’s been five years. You should move on.” These are just a couple of the insensitive remarks that grieving people encounter. Sadly, most of these comments are by friends and relatives who are supposed to help ease the pain.

I am no psychology or psychiatry expert. But one thing’s for sure – being impatient, annoyed or insensitive towards a grieving person is not the solution. Not by any means. In fact, it causes more damage.

With the lack or absence of much needed emotional support, it is no surprise then that a number of those who “remain in mourning” go into deep depression, a hellhole of its own.

A few comforting words make a difference. Patience makes a difference. Having a meal together makes a difference. Having a walk together makes a difference.

Togetherness makes a difference. It may not work with everyone but there’s no harm trying.

It’s definitely better than making the person feel worse by saying: “Hey, get over it. He’s not coming back.”

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