Man does not live on bread alone

Dear Diary,

It has not been easy finding bread in Subang this past week. Luckily my wife found a loaf at a Chinese coffee shop while tapau-ing wantan mee today.

I prefer sandwiches to rice but have cut down since the Movement Control Order began.

Here’s how Day 7 unfolded.

8.47am: PSYCHIC HARESHTwentytwo13 editor Haresh Deol reminds we have a Skype call today. He always seems to message or call when I’m on the throne.

9.13am: I’LL HAVE FRIES WITH THAT – I’m surprised. I’ve only put on 600g since the MCO begin. Oh, wait, I weighed myself after I ‘did my business’. My clothes are getting tighter.

9.14am – MASK CONFUSION – Do we or do we not wear a mask in public? There have been so many conflicting statements by the authorities. My wife, however, says I should wear it all the time, even at home – as that’s the only way I will stop eating. Bah, humbug!

10:03am: FLASHBACK – Video conference with Haresh and actor and comedian Rashid Salleh. Brought back memories of working in The Malay Mail when Skype calls were a daily occurrence. The log says my last call was Aug 31, 2017.

11.28am: LOUDER FOR THOSE AT THE BACK –Senior Minister Datuk Seri Ismail Sabri Yaakob says no police, soldier, municipal councils or supermarkets can enforce a ruling that one has to wear a face mask to enter the premises.

Just hope there is no U-turn. Those out buying groceries, please practice social distancing.

12.59pm: LET THEM EAT CAKE – I love sandwiches but there is ‘an artificial shortage of bread’ so please just buy what you need.

2pm: DON’T YOU DARE COME BACK – Surprise, surprise, unlike the prime minister, Ismail Sabri’s press conference starts on time! He warned those who had ‘balik kampung’ at the start of the MCO to stay where they are.

2.39pm: MR DIY – You don’t have to just eat and sleep during MCO. You can do work around the house too.

Well done, Allan.

3.22pm: FOOD TIPS – Try these simple food swaps if you can’t find what you need.

Note: I often use watermelon rind in my soups when I don’t have cucumber. Waste not, want not.

4.15pm: PLEASE FORGIVE US – Received the same WhatsApp from several sources.

Darn, I really should have taken that call.

5.19pm: THE WORST IS NOT OVER – Malaysia recorded 106 new Covid-19 cases today. The death toll increased by one.

6pm: STOP MUMBLING – I leave you with the great Bob Dylan.

11.35pm:  Another death was recorded, bringing the total number of deaths to 16.