500 countries? What in the world?

Dear Diary,

I feel sorry for my friend Rashid Salleh. The actor, comedian, host and all-round talented guy is a comic at heart but fears he will not get any more stand-up offers as our ministers are doing a “fantastic” job entertaining us.

I’m told Rashid is a little jealous as he never wrote material as hilarious as what these jokers are sprouting daily.

Yesterday, Malaysia’s Health Minister Datuk Seri Dr Adham Baba boasted he had a video conference call with “500 countries” – despite there being only 195 known countries in the world.

Yes, the same minister, medical doctor by qualification, who claimed drinking warm water will help kill the coronavirus and who said Malaysia consisted of 15 states!

I take it geography is not his strongest suit, although come to think of it, neither is science. Sigh.

Here’s how Day 33 of the Movement Control Order (MCO) unfolded.

7.49am: UNHAPPY MEAL – McDonald’s Singapore suspends all restaurant operations until May 4 due to the rising number of cases on the island. Seven of the burger chain’s employees have also been diagnosed with Covid-19.

8.15am: JOKES GALORE – Malaysians continue to mock Health Minister Datuk Seri Dr Adham Baba over claims he had a teleconference with 500 countries. Even former Education Minister Dr Maszlee Malik subtly poked fun by tweeting about two websites – https://world-geography-games.com and – https://ducksters.com/geography/ – children can use to learn about geography!

Here’s the clip of Adham.

9.05am: HELPING OUT – Novak Djokovic, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal are working with the ATP to create a funding system to help fund players ranked No. 200 and below.


10.30am: KILLJOYS – The World Health Organisation says excessive alcohol consumption will not protect you against Covid-19. I really need to stop reading these updates.

11.33am: NATURAL SELECTION – Demonstrations to demand an end to stay-at-home measures continue in the United States. Charles Darwin is about to be proven right.

12.17pm: SORRY NO CURE – Semanggol assemblyman Razman Zakaria apologises for “his oversight” in Deputy Health Minister I Datuk Dr Noor Azmi Ghazali’s visit-cum-lunch party at Maahad Tahfiz in Lenggong which is run by him. Why is he allowed to remain free when the rakyat are handcuffed and taken to jail for violating MCO? The answer: Perak police chief Comm Datuk Razarudin Husain claims from the photos, the “participants were seated far apart from one another”.

Rashid, you’re going to be out of a job sooner rather than later.

1.20pm: ROOF OVER THEIR HEADS – A shelter for homeless in Ipoh in Arena Badminton, Stadium Perak.

2pm: ESCAPE ROUTE – Senior Minister Datuk Seri Ismail Sabri Yaakob says MPs and state assemblymen are allowed to meet their constituents during MCO but must follow standard operating procedure. He also says automated teller machines will only be operational from 8am-8pm.

3pm: TRUE STORY – Received this via WhatsApp.

4pm: SHARON SPEAKS – Former national squash player Sharon Wee shared her views on The RSS with HD about our athletes training regime during the MCO.

4.30pm: WHY DOESN’T ANYONE BELIEVE ME? – Deputy Rural Development Minister Datuk Abdul Rahman Mohamad rubbishes claims he held a birthday gathering at his house on April 13. He says pictures which went viral yesterday were wrongly interpreted.

He says supporters brought a cake to his home as it was his birthday. He says it was rude to turn them away as they had been helping him distribute necessities to over 5,000 households in his constituency. Right.

5.01pm: BELOW 100 AGAIN – There were 84 new cases today, bringing the total to 5,389. A total of 95 patients were discharged, making it 3,197 cured. Sadly, there was another death, taking fatalities to 89.

Meanwhile, a new Covid-19 cluster has been detected among Malaysians returning from Indonesia via KL International Airport.

6pm: I STARTED A JOKE – This one’s for you Dr Adham.