Beware the ‘coRinavirus’

Dear Diary,

Scientists have warned Malaysians to be extra careful of the coRinavirus. It can cause a person to say, act or give comical suggestions. It is named after the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry. Although known to primarily affect politicians, those cooped up for too long have shown signs of being infected as evident from the numerous Tik Tok videos on social media.

Ok, the coRinavirus thingy is just an April Fools’ joke. But sometimes jokes do make a whole lot of sense, no?

Here’s how Day 15 of the Movement Control Order (MCO) unfolded.

7.35am: HAPPY BIRTHDAY RTM – The national broadcaster is 74 today.

8.50am: OH MY – Video streaming to TVs soared 85 per cent in the US in the first three weeks of March. Meanwhile, Pornhub says Malaysia tops Asian countries with most visits.

9.15am: BOOM OR BUST – NST has an article which says MCO may make or break families and relationships. Last week it said the world is running low on condoms. Is that why Malaysians are turning to Pornhub? Will we see a population boom or will divorce rates go up as they did in China?

10.25am: READY PLAYER ONE – Sarawak Youth and Sports Ministry and Sarawak E-Sports Association are organising the Sarawak Youth Stay At Home Esports Challenge.

10.44am: SUPERMARKET SWEEP ALA MCO – M. Zulkifli A. Jalil shares his shopping experience.

11am: A FACE FOR RADIO – But somehow an appearance on The RSS with HD – Extended.

12.53pm: CO-RINAVIRUS STRIKES – The Doraemon memes and videos have been coming in fast and furious.

1.30pm: NO HORSING AROUND – Equestrian great Datuk Kamaruddin Abdul Ghani says 96 horses in Thailand have died from African horse sickness. It’s a good thing the borders are closed.

3.17pm: INTERNET BLUES – A friend, Elle, is suffering as her Unifi is down and Telekom Malaysia says it can only send a technician after MCO ends. No Netflix for the next two weeks – or longer! I feel your pain.

4pm: HOME SWEET HOME – A sunbird made a nest in Muralidharan Nair’s neighbour’s sock. The student had gone to his hometown before MCO began.

5pm: MORE DEATHS – There are now 45 deaths due to Covid-19. Two up from yesterday. The number of cases went up by 142 to 2,908.

5pm: NO MORE EXCUSES – Government gazettes the 10km rule (allowed to get essential items or services within a 10km radius) and one person, one car rule. It’s now the law, no longer guidelines.

5.32pm: SHAMELESS – Bersih 2.0 expresses concern faces and names of elected politicians are appearing on Covid-19 gifts.

6pm: DEDICATED TO RINA & CO – A tune by Astrud Gilberto who is more famous for ‘The Girl from Ipanema’. But I’ve chosen ‘Maria Quiet’. It is perfect for Rina and her ministry as the lyrics could well describe what they were thinking when they came up with their “advice” for women. As a bonus, guess which famous band stole the piano riff for a rock anthem.