Even ‘Jesus’ struggling to defeat Covid-19

Dear Diary,

British-American actor Adam Bond, who has played Jesus in several films, including ‘Finding Jesus: Faith, Fact, Forgery’ and ‘Good Omens’ is still in Kuala Lumpur Hospital.

He has been in quarantine since March 17 and underwent another round of tests this morning. He is itching to go home and shares just how dangerous the disease is.

When asked if there was a toilet paper “crunch”, Bond replied: “We have none (toilet paper) in this ward. They use a hose … it’s a cultural thing, every toilet has a hose next to it.”

Hopefully, he will get discharged before Easter and will be able to teach his friends back home how to use a hose (or bidet) so that people won’t fight over toilet paper.

Here’s how Day 19 of the Movement Control Order (MCO) unfolded.

8am: COORDINATED FAKE VIOLENCE – Part 1 of WrestleMania 36. They truly are the greatest actors in the world – but it’s just not the same without the fans.

8.35am: BAD TIMING – My laptop battery finally gave out. Got to keep it plugged in all the time. To make matters worse, a couple of hours later, one side of my earphone goes out.

9.47am: PERFECT PINT – If you miss your favourite watering hole, try this trick.

10.41am: MP TESTS POSITIVE – Kota Samarahan MP Rubiah Wang has tested positive for Covid-19.

10.44am: TRUE STORY – I share the sentiments of the KL Kopites president. I especially hate the videos with the stupid/forced laughter at the end.

12.03pm: LESSONS FROM KENNY – Watched ‘History Remembers: Kenny Rogers’. Good motivation. He was in debt after his band broke up.

After becoming famous once more, he never stopped working and never rested on his laurels. That is how he became the first person to have a No 1 in the country, pop and R&B charts with the same song – Lady. He was generous to those around him and played a big part in ‘We are the world’. As a bonus, the show was filled with some great songs.

1.52pm: DOPING DOPES –  The Independent Member Federations Sanctions Panel has banned Thailand and Malaysia from sending weightlifters to the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games because of multiple doping offences.

2pm: COVIDIOTS ABOUND – Senior Minister Datuk Seri Ismail Sabri Yaacob says while there are fewer MCO violators, there are still too many stubborn ‘covidiots’. On Saturday, 368 people were arrested for disobeying MCO.

2pm: MONEY WOES – The RSS with HD tackles football salary woes.

3.03pm: WHEN IT’S OVER – Why it is important to practice social distancing.

4pm: GOOD IDEATwentytwo13 managing editor Pearl Lee shares a story where Umno deputy president Datuk Seri Mohamad Hasan says the government’s delivery system has to go completely digital post-Covid-19. Why isn’t he in the Cabinet instead of some clowns we have now?

5pm: FOUR MORE DEATHS – Death toll rises to 61 with four deaths today while 179 new cases make it 3,662. Ninety patients have recovered, making it 1,005 given the all-clear.

The Health Ministry, meanwhile, has detected a cluster stemming from someone who travelled to Italy. From this cluster, 37 tested positive. Five have died while one remains in the intensive care unit.

In India, eight Malaysians were stopped at Indira Gandhi International Airport in New Delhi when they tried to take a flight home after attending a religious event last month. According to an NDTV report, the Malaysians had all this while been hiding in the city.

5.50pm: WELL SAID – Some people in the UK still don’t get it but this tweet sums up the need to stay at home … and a reminder for us in Malaysia.

6pm: GOOD OMENS – Although Bond is not the main character in ‘Good Omens’ here’s the theme song from the show simply because I adore Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett.