Everyone wants to be friends with Makcik Kiah

Dear Diary,

Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin announces RM250 billion stimulus package which will certainly please ‘Makcik Kiah and her family’ while there are still some people who think jogging is allowed. Oh, and there’s an easy-peasy bread recipe for all those who can’t find them in the shop.

Here’s how the 10th day of the Movement Control Order (MCO) unfolded for me.

8:15am: FOOTBALLERS WITH HEART – Got a message from a former colleague Vijhay Vick. Not a fan of the owner but Johor Darul Ta’zim players are donating a portion of their salaries to the Johor disaster fund. If only more of our rich citizens put their money where their mouth is instead of paying lip service.

8.32am: LET’S GET PHYSICAL – My wife had a look in her eye when she said “we haven’t done it in a while.” I got all excited until I realised she meant Tabata exercises.

8.40am: (NOT SO) GOOD MOTIVATION – Watched a recording of The Kitchen while working out. Big mistake.

It’s a Friday so no meat. Argggggh.

10am: DIY BREAD – With friends lamenting how difficult it is to find bread, here’s an easy recipe (confession, I haven’t tried it). The advantage is you can use all-purpose flour – not everyone will have bread flour in their pantry.

11.02am: FAKE NEWS – Many shared a message that Selangor will be on “full lockdown” from today. This is not the only nonsense being spread. Really, some people have nothing better to do.

12.53pm: PERSONAL SERVICE – A friend shared that AEON now offers personal shopper service.

1.10pm: COVIDIOT OF THE DAY – Azwan Ali fined RM17,000 by the Kuala Lumpur Sessions Court for uploading an offensive post relating to Covid-19 on his YouTube channel.

2.57pm: WHO WOULD HAVE ‘GAS’ IT? – What a time to time to run out of gas. To make matters worse, the spare tank is also empty. Usual guy not picking up and tried a number from online and they wanted RM35. Found another number and it was RM31.

3.12pm: MONEY, MONEY, MONEY – Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin announces RM250 billion stimulus package for the nation and Makcik Kiah. It’s amazing how fast opinions change when goodies are handed out.

4.06pm: STAY BACK – Your daily reminder about social distancing courtesy of Gonzotrucker on Twitter.

4.43pm: STAY HOME, LAH – Reports are surfacing of police arresting those loitering, walking their dogs and jogging! What is it so hard for them to understand? As I’m typing this, I see a guy jogging around my apartment block. Sigh!

5.53pm: NUMBERS GAME – There are 130 new cases which brings the total to 2,161. The death toll is 26.

6pm: ALL DRESSED UP AND NOWHERE TO GO – Petrol prices have fallen once again. I leave you with Chuck Berry’s ‘No particular place to go’.

7.45pm: BRITISH PM HAS COVID-19 – Prime Minister Boris Johnson is the first world leader to test positive. He is in self-isolation in his Downing Street office.