All-smokers cafe?

Want a sure-fire business plan?

Open a smokers only kopitiam, mamak shop or eatery!

Malaysia-Singapore Coffee Shop Proprietors General Association (MSCSPGA), Malaysian Muslim Restaurant Owners Association, Malaysian Indian Restaurant Owners Association (Primas) and smokers are lamenting smokers’ rights are being trampled on.

This follows a new ruling from January to ban smoking in all restaurants and eateries, including open-air hawker centres and street stalls.

This is besides the existing smoke-free zones in public places and government buildings.

MSCSPGA president Datuk Ho Su Mong told the media the Health Ministry is meddling in their businesses and removed their right to make decisions on their own businesses.

“We are not encouraging people to smoke. We just want the right to serve all customers,” Ho, a non-smoker told a press conference earlier this week.

So what better way to please the critics than by having an all-smokers cafe … you can make a killing (no pun intended).

Ho urged the ministry to talk with the restaurant owners to seek a fair solution and even told BFM the government should help finance a smokers only zone at eateries.

But let’s forget that and go with my business plan. After all, as my late father used to say, “cigarettes, one is too many, a thousand never enough”.

With so many addicted to it, you will have a steady stream of customers,

There is no shortage of names to call your outlet as you could use titles of famous songs such as Smoke on the water (Deep Purple), Holy smoke (Iron Maiden), No smoke without fire (Bad Company) or When the smoke is going (Scorpions).

Of course, if you are not into that type of music, other genres have you covered with songs such as Smoke gets in your eye (Platters), Like smoke (Amy Winehouse), Don’t smoke in bed (Peggy Lee), Smoke and ashes (Tracy Champman) and my personal favourite – Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette) by Tex Williams.

With lyrics such as …

Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette 

Puff puff puff 

And if you smoke yourself to death

Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate 

That you hate to make him wait

But you just gotta have another cigarette

It is the perfect song for all smokers.

Note: This is a satirical article. The crew of Twentytwo13 – smokers and non-smokers alike – believe everyone has the right to breathe good, fresh air and stay healthy.

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