My life experiences tell me if we had knowingly or unknowingly imposed our values on others, just because we have tasted more salt.
No matter how successful we have been in our career and life, it is time to ponder on this sort of behaviour.
What worked for many of us when we were younger (including our strict, conservative ways) may not work so well when we are older. Conversely, much of what made us happy then, may not work for the younger generation. Times have changed, and so should we.
I have always been a no-nonsense, serious, and meticulous person. I was also hard, and harsh on myself, in trying to attain perfection in whatever I did. I was reliable and got things done, but what a price I had to pay in terms of my relationship with those who had to work with me, especially my subordinates.
I now realise that they all went through trying times.
Even family members, relatives, colleagues, and friends, felt stressed when dealing with me, as I was equally harsh on them, and expected them to be equally perfect as me. Most felt uncomfortable dealing with me and tried to avoid me as much as possible, as I had imposed my high standards on them, whatever the cost.
But not anymore. I now realise that I cannot continue to be the “perfect man”. I have made many mistakes and have had many “off” days. I firmly believed that my way was the right way. And I was quick to judge.
In hindsight, I realise that I was not so objective in trying to understand, and put myself in the other person’s shoes. I lacked empathy. I was not a team player.
But over the years, things have changed. Now, I recognise that what matters is that as long as everyone in the team is doing or giving their best, that’s fine by me.
We should be willing to admit that we don’t know all, and be open to acquiring new knowledge. We need to learn to be more humble and open.
I now try to inject positive vibes and make people feel comfortable, and at ease, when working with me. Seniors like me should not take life as seriously as before. We need to learn to smile and laugh more, even at ourselves. For a start, can we learn to smile at the cashier, bank teller, or receptionist?
Acknowledge the courtesy and kindness displayed by others. For instance, thanking the waiter or counter clerk for the excellent service, and asking them to keep the change. Can we learn to give credit when credit is due, more often?
I try to do these little good things to others, hoping it would make a difference in the other person’s life. We should make an effort to touch the lives of ordinary Malaysians.
I’ve also learned to forgive and forget. We should learn to put the past behind. Let’s not carry our grudges to our grave.
Savour the remaining years of our lives. Cherish the beautiful memories and recollections. We should meet up with former classmates and colleagues more often.
When finally, the time comes, we can peacefully close our eyes, knowing that we have made peace with all who matter to us.
Ill feelings, animosity, hatred, and bitterness should be replaced with love, and positive thoughts, and feelings.
I would regard strong family support and unity as pivotal. Families should come together not only in good times, but also in trying times. It is a fact that families that are united are happier and will care for one another, through thick and thin.
Finally, be kind and gentle to others and to ourselves. Treat and respect others the way you like to be treated.
Savour every new day. It could be your last day on this earth.
This is the personal opinion of the writer and does not necessarily represent the views of Twentytwo13.
