On Sept 16, 1963, a new nation was born when Singapore, Sabah, and Sarawak joined Malaya to form the country we know and love today – Malaysia. Brunei was invited but subsequently withdrew from the planned union.
Growing up in this ‘new’ country was interesting, especially after Singapore decided two years later to become a separate entity – as I had family members who were born in both countries.
As a little girl, I spent my holidays in my grandparents’ home in the heart of old Kuala Lumpur. I have talked about those moments many times before – simply because those times brought me profound joy and helped shape me into who I am today.
Running around on their enormous plot of land for hours on end with my cousins – there were so many of us – taught us independence, creativity, discipline, compassion, and many other life skills.
Life was so simple. Families were always together. We lived in a huge house that accommodated all my aunties and uncles. Everyone who got married even returned to stay with my grandmother because the house was just massive.
And that was the way it was in those days. Even if you lived in a house that wasn’t massive, families supported each other, and they stuck together. Aunties, uncles, mums, and dads shared the responsibility of raising each other’s children. More often than not, they used to stay in the same taman (neighbourhood).
When one child did something wrong, everybody got punished for it. Everybody took it in good faith, and parents understood and left the disciplining of their children to whomever the caretaker was.
The children would never complain that “Auntie Lina or Auntie Sheila smacked me”. They knew their parents would instead say: “Good. That will teach you to be naughty. If it were us, we would have smacked you harder!”
My cousins grew up and formed a tight-knit bond that has lasted until today. There were times when the 12 of us would share one storybook, reading the stories together from cover to cover. Hand-me-downs were common.
There was a kampung (village) nearby, and we would go over and play with the kids there. It didn’t matter that we were of different races or ethnicities. We were ‘just kids, having fun’.
We made many good friends, some of whom we are still in touch with today.
That was the Malaysia I remember – when people everywhere, regardless of race or religion, looked out for each other in the neighbourhood.
These days, the close-knit family structure is replaced by a more fragmented social environment. Families live in separate homes, often scattered across different neighbourhoods and states.
Children today often grow up in smaller families with less interaction with extended relatives, sometimes only meeting once or twice a year. Their sense of belonging and community no longer exists, and some don’t even know their next-door neighbour.
In the old Malaysia – and around the world then – it was mostly about us, we, togetherness. Today, it is me, myself, and I.
To revive the spirit of community and family unity in Malaysia, parents and educators should encourage more family gatherings, outdoor activities, and face-to-face interactions, especially with those in their neighbourhood.
We should draw inspiration from the past and adapt it to the present, so that Malaysians can honour its heritage of togetherness.
