Dear Abah,
You would have turned 88 this December, just 12 years younger than Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, who will be turning 100 in less than a month.
As for me, I’m older now — though I’m not sure if I’m any wiser, to tell you the truth.
Growing up, you were not my favourite.
You were tough and strict with your children. I hated your guts. At times, I wished I had a different kind of father — someone like my friends’ dads: the not-so-strict kind. But you? You had high expectations, especially for your daughter.
Sometimes, I wondered if you forgot you had three other children. To you, I had to excel. I had to be number one. There were no dangling carrots – no promises or incentives. It was either I came out on top and got rewarded, or nothing at all. It didn’t matter if I scored straight As in the Standard Six exam or ranked in the top 10. Somehow, it still never seemed good enough.
Back then, I didn’t understand your way of teaching or showing love. But looking back, I realise now that your love language was acts of service. You never said “I love you” but every year on my birthday, you let me choose three books – any books I wanted. When I told you I needed new jeans, the next day Mum would take me to our neighbourhood supermarket to get a pair. But I could not see it then.
All I saw was the strictness.
But your tough love made me resilient. It shaped me into the person I am today. And I guess that’s what you were trying to do all along – prepare me for the future.
So, thank you, Abah, for all your sacrifices.
I appreciate everything you did for us and Mum, even on the modest salary you earned as a teacher.
Happy Father’s Day, Abah. I love you.
Muzliza Mustafa pays tribute to her beloved abah, Mustafa Yaman (main image), who passed away when she was 16. Muzliza now understands and appreciates the strict demeanour and sacrifices of her late father.
