Each of us has a different relationship with alcohol. Some love it, others detest it. I am one of those who fall in between.
One of the challenges I face is saying ‘no’ to an offer of a glass of cold beer or liquor. This happens when I drop by a group enjoying their drinks and having a friendly banter session.
One of the members of this group would unhesitatingly offer to buy me a drink – a nice way to ask me to join the group. And I would usually politely turn down such invitations.
At social events, alcohol is a big part of the societal scene, whether it is at a bar, pub, or banquet hall. From weddings, to birthday parties and simple get-togethers with colleagues, there’s often alcohol involved.
The seasoned drinkers will always insist that I join them. They would say “Drink-lah: enjoy life, one drink will do no harm”. As I don’t want to get into a debate on why I don’t drink, I would usually smile at the person making the offer – look at him and politely turn down the offer by saying that I don’t drink. There is usually a knee-jerk emotional reaction of “Oh!”, as if to tell me that I am the odd man out!
I don’t owe them an explanation on why I don’t drink. Do I? Am I obligated to do so?
During my early days as a member of a club, I was ridiculed and teased for not drinking, despite the many derogatory comments I received, such as “How can the club make money with members like you”, and “You are a shame to the community”, as if to tell me that all Sikhs drink.
But I always stood my ground. It has been difficult. So how do I decline diplomatically an offer to drink?
My non-drinking ways did raise a few eyebrows, and it has been interesting to see how frustrated and agitated members who are drinking excessively feel when I decline their offer of a drink.
Turning down alcohol can feel awkward, particularly if you’re hanging out with people who’ve seen you drink in the past. To be honest, I don’t owe anybody any explanation should I turn down the offer.
For the record, I’m not a true-blue teetotaller. I drink once in a while, particularly when there is an event or function, but I do limit my intake to two glasses the whole night.
Only on rare occasions do I let my hair down. There was an occasion when I decided to indulge in some hard liquor.
My partaking in accepting a drink became an interesting conversation piece – many photos were taken and shared in my ‘Long Bar’ WhatsApp group. The members of this group had hoped that once the ‘spell’ was broken, only forward progress can be expected. But they were disappointed. I turned down a similar offer the next time around. Yes, I’m disciplined. Somehow, hard liquor does not go well with me.
When I join a drinking group now, I will order my favourite ‘soda water’ or plain water with lime.
When I was running with the Hash group, I would be on-downed with beer (as a way to punish or thank someone), and I took it in my stride. We had to gulp the bottled beer in quick time – otherwise the Hashers would sing loudly in unison “Why are we waiting?” a few times until one’s bottle had been emptied in full.
I sincerely hope that my friends won’t think any differently of me just because I don’t drink as much as they do. Hope they will read this article and understand where I am coming from. I know that my dad did not indulge in alcohol, although he would have loved to, if only he had the means.
I do not police others’ drinking habits, and in the same breath, others too, should not dictate whether I drink or not, or force me to drink something that is not one of top preferences.
I used to get disparaging remarks but not anymore. Most have now accepted that I don’t drink and they respect me for my choice.
So, I don’t feel that awkward when I turn down an offer, now. Drinking (or not drinking) is a personal choice.
I still do have a good time with my friends, even if I’m the only one not drinking – as long as my friends are all cool with each other’s choices.
This is the personal opinion of the writer and does not necessarily represent the views of Twentytwo13.
