Last Tuesday my son Johan Alam came home and sat with me and his sister in the hall. Then he cried.
He had just returned from the wake of Sanjiv Daevin, 35, who had fallen to his death a day earlier.
They became pals more than 10 years ago when they were course mates at Malaysian Flying Academy in Malacca.
One thing Johan said that struck me like an arrow through the heart was, “It could have been me.”
“Why didn’t Sanjiv call someone?” Johan asked. “Yes, he lost his job but life was still fine for him.”
But then we never know. We always assume that things are okay because people with personal problems or depression hardly ever reveal much to others.
When Johan and his friends left the wake after paying their respects, they agreed that it is absolutely vital for them to keep in touch regularly. They also agreed to talk to each other if any of them has problems.
Sanjiv, also a talented musician, was retrenched from his piloting job a few months ago but those close to him didn’t realise the extent of his stress.
Sanjiv had even been to our house those days. He would even car pool with Johan once a while to go back to Malacca.
They went separate ways after flying school and hardly contacted each other then on.
That’s the problem with this thing called life. We get caught up in everything else but let friendships slip.
We need to be more alert to what our loved ones (including friends) are going through and be ready to listen and help.
Johan, while friendly with everyone, is not generous with words when describing and assessing people. But in Sanjiv, he said he has lost a wonderful friend. That says a lot about the great guy Sanjiv was.
Wind calm, cleared for take-off … until next time, buddy
– Johan Alam
Main image: Johan and Sanjiv (right). If you have emotional issues and need to talk to someone, contact Befrienders at +603-76272929.
