Last night, I decided to give this new food delivery service a try. I ordered their nasi lemak as I was convinced with the assurance of discounted meal prices.
What puzzled me, however, was they had different packaging. If wrapped in banana leaf and newsprint, it would cost me RM10. For food packed in aluminium foil, it was RM 12, and for delivery in a plastic container, it was RM14.
I went for the cheapest one but that came with only a quarter slice of hard-boiled egg instead of a full egg. Whatever, I told myself.
I paid online and received an invoice with the delivery guy’s name –Tony.
I waited for my dinner and was in for a surprise when Tony arrived on his kapcai.
He horned three times and said he was charging me 50 sen for each time. He also demanded RM3 because I was late by 30 seconds opening the front door to get to the gate. Never mind that he himself was 25 minutes late while I waited not knowing if the plane was ever taking off food would finally arrive. Not even an apology!
Then he wanted me to pay RM1 because his bike engine was left running for those 30 seconds. Plus he wanted RM2.50 for keeping my food package at the top of the pile in the delivery box. Faster delivery, it seems.
I told myself this guy is too much but I was too hungry to argue. I had no cash on me, so I asked for his number so I could send him some online shopping vouchers instead.
At first, he insisted on cash but I told him, “Take it or leave it, Tony. You have no choice. Now everyone can give vouchers.”
He reluctantly agreed and left.
This morning, Tony called me and said the vouchers had expired. I said, “Yes, yesterday was the last day. You should have used them before midnight. Next time read the fine print lah.”
He kept pressing me because he wanted a solution. So I told him to get in touch with the contact person – Miss AVA – and she would solve his problem.
Tony called me again two hours later (Sigh! This guy never gives up).
“What now, Tony?” I asked.
Tony: That AVA doesn’t know what I’m talking about and keeps telling me to try again later. It’s like I’m talking to a bloody robot! I wasted two hours of my life.
I don’t know why but I suddenly uttered, “Now you know lah.”
Tony: What did you say?
Me: No, nothing.
I tried to ignore him. I was hoping that he would finally give up and leave me in peace and I would not have to pay him a single sen.
But Tony was not giving up and kept bugging me. He made a total of seven calls to me but I would just keep him on hold for 10 to 15 minutes before cutting off the line (But I am sure that while waiting, he would have enjoyed the repetitive “please hold” voice recording I have on my phone).
Finally, I got a brainwave and told him, “Sue me lah! I’ll file for bankruptcy.”
He got mad, uttered some not-so-nice words and that was the last I heard from him.
Maybe I should start my own food delivery service and show these people how to do business.
Editor’s note: This is satire and no malice is intended. We salute and appreciate individuals and businesses that have reinvented themselves in such trying times.
