Not many seniors have the opportunity to stand before an audience who actually listens to them, even if it is only for three minutes.
Some are single, some live alone, and some have children who live abroad. Those with a spouse or children do not necessarily have the attention of their partners or children. The fact is, our children lead their own lives, with jobs and families of their own. They may not have the time to chat with their parents. Even a weekly call can be difficult – what more to expect an adult child to sit down and chat with a parent for a few minutes.
But that is alright as long as we seniors live independently and do not “kacau” (disturb) our children. As warga emas (senior citizens), without a job or regular activities, our lives can become mundane, boring, stifling and even depressing. So we need to find an excuse to get up, dress up, and get out of our homes to do something worthwhile and meaningful.
Not all seniors enjoy rigorous activities like hiking, walking around the mall or going on trips to Cameron Highlands, Phuket or Bhutan. To cater to these seniors, our platform called Come Tell Your Story serves as the perfect excuse for restless seniors to leave their homes and spend a few hours doing something meaningful with others.
The storytelling or sharing event gives seniors the space to talk, to listen, to relate, to recall memories and to tell stories of love, pain, fright, shock, surprise, achievements, frauds, divorces, and of being alone. These are real issues that seniors know well. The interaction is with people who can understand and relate.
At the end of their stories, others approach them with further questions – either out of curiosity or a desire to learn how they dealt with those issues. The storytellers become the focus of attention. They are seen, heard, acknowledged, and soon they answer queries with glee as others gather round to share their own related stories. That is being noticed. That is being heard.
At Come Tell Your Story – Series 7, held on Sept 25, we had 30 seniors from Seniors Aloud who turned up at Sukha Senior Resort in Petaling Jaya, Selangor, which had offered us the venue on a complimentary basis. We had initially planned for 22 participants to keep it cosy and small, but because of the interest from some new people, we decided not to turn anyone away.
We never require attendees to tell their stories, though we do set a theme so that those interested can prepare. Come Tell Your Story is a monthly programme organised purely as a platform for seniors to come together to share, to care and to interact. Sometimes, we even proceed to have dinner as a group. Many seniors enjoy these meals together.
Some participants are regulars, some come occasionally, and some are new. The regulars look forward to the event because they know it is fun and interactive. The newbies often arrive sceptical, content to just sit and observe. But once they hear the other storytellers, they too are inspired to share. The only challenge is time – we have only two hours and cannot always fit everyone in.
We take care not to push participants too quickly. At the start, we ease them in gently because we do not want to frighten them by cajoling them to speak before they are ready. Since our aim is to encourage seniors to be more visible among themselves rather than staying hidden at home, we give them time to warm up.
We begin with three small activities – first, an easy ice breaker such as introducing themselves with an adjective. Then, a little group competition with quizzes or puzzles. Sometimes we add tongue twisters for fun. Music is included to lift spirits, as research shows its positive effects. If we sense anxiety, we recommend a short, easy chair exercise, which is always enjoyable.
At the end of two hours, the atmosphere is warm, invigorating, lively and filled with chatter. Seniors need a space to be heard. Together, they lend each other their ears, exercise their facial muscles, tone their lips and hands, and keep their brains active as they recall memories from yesteryear. And they come dressed for the occasion.
Storytelling may seem intimidating at first, but in a safe and non-judgemental space, seniors find the courage and confidence to share with like-minded people. At our Sept 25 session, one senior vented her distress as a wife caring for her ageing husband. Immediately, others rallied around her with support.
We also heard the story of a baby born unwell. The love and care shown to the grandmother after she revealed it was her grandson was touching. Conversations like these often spark more related stories at coffee time. One story leads to another – and this is how we learn about each other’s culture, childhood, lifestyles, and even final day preferences through our Come Tell Your Story platform.
There are spooky and creepy tales too – of spirits, ghosts, monsters, the experience of lying in a coffin, caregiving, Bado (an Indian “Qing Ming”), miracle doctors, daughters dressed as boys to ensure sons – and the stories go on.
For those interested to know more about Come Tell Your Story, visit the Seniors Aloud’s Facebook page or contact June Chan at +60 12-701 0103 or Lily Fu at +60 12-306 8291.
