Success is often celebrated as the ultimate measure of a life well-lived. It is a pursuit shaped by external benchmarks: top grades, promotions, financial milestones, or social media validation.
While these markers can undoubtedly motivate and inspire, there is a cost beneath this relentless, non-stop chase.
Many carry an invisible burden of expectations, self-doubt, exhaustion, and burnout that stem from equating success solely with outward accomplishments.
Yes, there is nothing inherently wrong, but understand that there are (more often than not) intangible costs involved.
The societal narrative around success is rooted in visibility. Achievements are tangible and measurable: an award, a title, or a material possession that signifies you’ve made it. What we often fail to see is the emotional toll this can take.
The endless striving for external validation can create a cycle of burnout, where people feel compelled to do more, be more, and achieve more, even at the expense of their well-being. It’s not uncommon for someone to reach a long-coveted milestone, only to find that the joy is fleeting, quickly replaced by the question: What’s next?
This obsession with what’s next is why so many are left feeling unfulfilled, even when they’ve achieved what others deem to be success.
You see, the root lies in how we define achievement. If success is solely about ticking boxes and meeting external expectations, we risk losing sight of what truly matters: inner peace, meaningful relationships, and personal growth.
Lessons in reflections
The Stoics provide valuable wisdom on this matter. Marcus Aurelius wrote, “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” To the Stoics, success was not about wealth or status but about living a life of virtue that embodies qualities like wisdom, courage, justice, and self-discipline. In their view, the only things within our control are character and actions.
This philosophy reminds us that achievement lies in how we conduct ourselves in the face of challenges. Did we act with integrity? Did we make decisions aligned with our values?
These are the metrics that matter, not the applause or approval of others. When we focus on virtue rather than validation, we shift the burden of success from external pressures to internal fulfilment.
Islamic teachings emphasise the importance of shukr (gratitude) as the foundation of a fulfilling life.
Success, in this context, is not only about what we accumulate but also about how we appreciate what we already have.
The Quran reminds us, “If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favour]” (14:7).
Gratitude shifts our perspective from scarcity to abundance, allowing us to see the blessings in our lives rather than fixating on what we lack.
Gratitude serves as a grounding force in a world that often equates achievement with relentless striving. It humanises us. It reminds us to pause, reflect, and recognise the value of the present moment.
Gratitude doesn’t mean complacency; rather, it encourages us to pursue our goals with a sense of contentment and balance. It’s a reminder that success is not only about reaching new heights but also about appreciating the view from where we stand, no matter where that may be.
Redefining achievement
Perhaps it’s time to redefine success. Instead of chasing trophies, what if we measured achievement by the depth of our fulfilment, the quality of our relationships, and the alignment of our actions with our values? What if success was about creating a life that feels meaningful to us, rather than one that looks impressive to others?
This redefinition doesn’t require a complete rejection of traditional markers of success. It’s not about abandoning ambition or career goals. Instead, it’s about expanding our understanding of what it means to achieve. It’s about balancing external accomplishments with internal wellbeing, striving for excellence without sacrificing our peace of mind.
If the invisible burden of success resonates with you, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself: What does success mean to me? Am I pursuing goals that align with my values and bring me joy, or am I chasing external validation? This week, try redefining achievement in small ways. Celebrate a meaningful conversation, a moment of kindness, or a step toward personal growth.
I hope I have convinced you that, in a world obsessed with outward appearances, choosing fulfilment over trophies is an act of quiet rebellion. And perhaps, in that rebellion, you may find the true essence of success. Just maybe.
Dr Nahrizul Adib Kadri is a professor of biomedical engineering and the Principal of Ibnu Sina Residential College, Universiti Malaya.
The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the writer and do not necessarily represent that of Twentytwo13.